Dead Horse Point State Park- Utah- USA (von james_gordon_losangeles)
Thank you sweetheart, I’m pretty proud of myself too! <3
Brooklyn - New York City - New York - USA (von Bill Gracey)
Thank you! I’m so proud of myself, I was shaking when I stepped on the scales and I couldn’t even look, because even though I know how much progress I’ve made psychologically, I was so scared of people (ie my counsellor/nurse) being disappointed because I hadn’t gained physically. But I had. She was all ‘hmm you’ve only gained a tiny tiny bit’ but I talked right over her and just said ‘I don’t care, I’ve gained. That’s all that matters’. I don’t care what she thinks anymore. This is about me and only me :)
I just had weigh in and I’VE GAINED.
It wasn’t a lot, it was only the tiniest amount, but at least it’s finally finally positive again. I burst into tears right there and then, but only from sheer happiness and relief. I’m so proud of myself, and so excited to keep on going up :D
I’d put off watching the film adaptation of The Help for so long because the book is so perfect and one of my favourites ever and I was worried it wouldn’t live up to my expectations but oh my god it did, it’s amazing and I’m crying
Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind, or forgotten.
Death Valley National Park - California - USA (von Bill Gracey)
I’m so so glad I could help sweetheart, and hearing that you want to keep fighting inspires me right back! You can do this, I believe in you. I hope your day is full of positivity and progress <3
and so many more, everybody in the recovery community, you’re all such strong amazing little fighters and I want us all to meet up and eat pizza and ben and jerry’s and watch movies and cuddle and be all motivational and shit :’)
i love you guys a lot
I’m so sorry to hear that darling. Fighting against yourself is the hardest thing you can possibly imagine. Recovery is scary, but the alternative is much much scarier. Anorexia felt ‘safe’ and ‘controlled’ but it wasn’t. Not in the slightest. It wasn’t you in control at all, it was your disorder. It’s an illusion. You had no control at all, and you’ve done so well to fight back and regain a bit of that control through your recovery. Don’t let that go. Letting go is letting anorexia win. And that means years more of no friends, no social life, no boobs, no bum, sticky-out bones so you can’t sit comfortably ever, constant discomfort, inability to concentrate on anything, obsession with food, constant unbearable hunger, hair falling out, horrible dry skin, cold all the time, misery, no interests, no energy, no life.. And eventually, it will kill you. If you relapse, it might take a few years of all that awfulness, but eventually your body will give out. And if that’s not terrifying I don’t know what is.
You have so much to live for. You’re young and you have an unbelievable amount of opportunity ahead of you. Your life could go so many different ways, meet so many people, go so many places. I think that sounds pretty exciting. Don’t you want to stick around to find out what happens?
I know how hard it is, believe me. But I believe that you can do this. You need to fully 100% choose recovery though, and commit to it, because quasi-recovery (which it sounds like you’re in) will get you nowhere. Try talking honestly and openly with somebody you trust. Maybe get some professional help (although people’s experiences with this vary), make a meal plan, get somebody to cook your meals for you or help you with them. Start saying yes to things. Start to life again. I promise you it’s so worth it. Best wishes darling <3
1) The Gambler by Fun (also Carry On)
2) Shake it Out by Florence and the Machine
3) Demons by Imagine Dragons (and On Top of the World)
4) Things That Stop You Dreaming by Passenger (and Let Her Go)
5) Dream Catch Me by Newton Faulkner
And also everything by Haim, Lorde and Paolo Nutini